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As a child, Shania had always been boisterous, and stubborn, unwilling to admit defeat or be subjected to routine. The
elf girl refused to be decked out in ribbons and bows; skirts and pretty dresses were her worst enemy; the color pink pure
venom in her eyes. From the moment she learned to walk, Shania's body became a testament to her thickheadedness, her knees,
elbows, and any other visible body part perpetually covered with a healing wound. Her mother, a loving , caring werewolf,
would sometimes run out of patience to the point of tearing out chunks of hair (or fur, depending on the case) due to the
child's tendencies. The only person who knew how to handle the girl had been her father, whose cunning and temperament often
tricked Shania into doing as she was told.
That is not to say that Shania had been a horrible devil of terrible disposition
used on getting her way. Chores would be accomplished after much idling and almost always accompanied by a chorus of complaints
that left her lips. She didn't lie nor talk back and she almost always heeded the advice of her parents. Despite her stubborn
nature and love for freedom, Shania had been a pleasant enough child.
Now in her , somewhat, more mature age things
had changed little. Her life was a bit more structured, rules had been put into effect. For the most part it was simple discipline
that dominated her life, but life as a Sentinel wasn't bad at all-- there was plenty of time to chase (or in her case, be
chased by) Mazaka flies in the grasslands, bludgeon gremlins to death and teach deadly trimers a thing or two about who's
who in the grand scheme of things. In fact, fighting crime was right up her alley. Her wings of freedom had not once been
in jeopardy of trimming within the guild.
In other aspects of life, things were different. For the most part, the
raven-haired elf kept to herself if not in the company of Naga. Despite her eagerness to succeed at all things in life and
the huge smile that she was known for, socializing, when on her own, was not her forte. She'd smile, nod, follow a conversation
with her ears until she was comfortable enough to speak. Eventually the elf would come out of her shell, and signs that of
it being so were already showing.
"Evenin'," muttered Shania as she entered the room full of sentinels, her arms cradling
several files awaiting their final destination. Wether her peers at their desks paid attention to her or not, it didn't matter
to the elf. For once, her lips were turned into a thin line, those pale orbs of blue lackluster in their hue. As she reached
a desk in the far back, one of a few used in rotation by the sentinel in duty, Shania's distress became more apparent: the
jelly donut lovin' elven freak had walked by a pink box full of said pastries and didn't even bat an eyelash.
'..
What I'm trying to say is that I--I love you... marry me.' The elven boy had muttered during a moments awkwardness, as his
left hand extended forth a delicate ring of gold and shimmering diamond. Shania's smile had remained on her face almost out
of shock the moment he had uttered the words, her blue eyes locked on his figure in awe. During a brief conversation the day
before, Shania had told him about her stupidity at having lost a leather coat she'd just bought during the day. It had been
the first piece of equipment that the girl could trully call her own, as she'd scrimped, saved and bought it without anyone
giving it to her. She'd been proud but careless, now the coat's whereabouts were unkown. As a surprise, the boy had asked
her to meet him and he had presented to her a jacket made of leather several sizes too big. It was while she rambled about
having to resize it when he'd 'popped' the question.
'Pardon me?' At once she knew it was a stupid question, the words
careless and cruel.
'Marry me.' He repeated, swallowing hard and trembling at the sudden thickness of the air.
'I...I...'
Shania's sunkissed ivory and rose complexion had been drained of all color as the words fought to escape her lips. Her mind
screamed one answer, her heart, on the other hand, demanded kindness as well as diplomacy. 'I...' No. The answer is No.
The
boy before her, however, was completely oblivious to her discomfort and continued on with a short speech in which he promised
to take care of her, please her, love her for all eternity. He went into detail on how he found her attractive and to be the
only girl for him. As he rambled on and on in nervousness, one word slipped her lips that brought his train of thought to
a screetching halt.
'No.' She said sheepishly, her gaze on the floor. 'I can't.' He said nothing, his eyes locked on
her figure awaiting for the raven-haired maiden of his dreams to change her mind.
'I can't marry you,' Shania repeated,
fingertips twisting the leather lapel of the jacket he'd just given her. 'I simply do not see myself ever getting married.
I am too wild, too reckless.'
'But I'll take care of you.' He said, holding up that ring still almost in a pathetic
gesture.
I do not need to be taken care of, dammit. I can do well on my own--I do not need a man to fend for me when
I am perfectly capable of! 'I'm sorry, I am unable to-- I can't.' She said once more, her own voice a pathetic cry in comparison
to the screams that echoed in her mind. 'I'm.. sort of involved anyway, and it just would be wrong of me to wed somebody else.'
'I love you.' Apperantly, the mentioning of somebody else fell on deaf ears-- and even if that "somebody" was hardly
ever there, Shania's excuse was still valid.
'It wouldn't be fair for either one of us.' I don't love you, at least
not like that. 'I'd end up hurting you--'
'You're perfect--'
'I am not what you think I am-- I have my flaws.'
'You're
beautiful.'
'You'll find somebody else.'
'Please, I need you in my life. I can't go on living without you.'
A
heavy pause broke between the young couple then, the tension thick enough to warrant the girl dizzy.
'Please say you
will. I will die if you won't.. '
You're asking too much of me. 'No... I will not wed someone when I know I am unable
to. I will hurt you, I will crush you-- you will find somebody else and you'll be attached to me. You'll resent me...I, on
the otherhand, will be yearning for my freedom.. I cannot and will not. I respect the sanctity of marriage too much.' I. Am.
Not. In love with you.
Besides, marriage was not befitting someone like Shania--if she ever was to wed, it'd have to
be with a fellow freedom lover who'd understand her craving for adventure, her desperate desire for boundlessness. Her perfect
husband would accompany her in the dangerous dance with Death and not try to coddle nor conquer her wild spirit, let alone
dissuade her from independence. Shania was as free as the wind and to force her into marriage when she was not ready was like
trying to stop a river from flowing altogether or harnessing a cloud as to lead it wherever it was wanted.
At last
she lifted her gaze from the floor, the spheres of saphire filled with sincerety and flashing with a touch of anger. The conversation
was spinning out of control, her desire to not be cruel slipping. 'We hardly even know each other. I don't know you; you don't
know me.' It was the truth. They spoke but a few times, the true nature of his feelings were unkown to her until that moment.
She had been, up until that point, too shy to do much conversing with him at any personal level anyway.
'I understand.'
He replied at last, his hand dropping to his side, the look on his face that of heartbreak. Instantly, Shania felt like consoling
him but only held back due to the possibility of him taking it the wrong way.
'I should go.' She said after another
heavy pause, her hands extending forth the jacket he'd given her. He would not take it and she would not accept it lest he
take it the wrong way. In the end, she kept took it home along with another trinket he had insisted she keep.
A
soft tongue at the side of her cheek brought Shania crashing back to Wysoom. "Why so jumpy, Sha?"
Immediately she jumped
into an upright position, her hands picking up the first file within reach and forced her eyes to stare at it for a moment
before bothering to look up. "I'm not jumpy, Naga, merely distracted."
Her mentor simply grinned and ruffled her apprentice's
head. "That's not good...I'll have to tell Gilgal not to rot your brain with idle paperwork then." The elf had been about
to respond when the files were promptly plucked out her hand, others cleared and Naga's rump plastered on the desk. "I know
what you need."
A properly functioning brain? "What do I need?"
"Why, we need to take Forkie to his playdate
with Monty of course!" So said, Naga promptly hopped off the desk and grabbed Shania's hand. Before the latter could complain
about duties and deadlines, the scantly-clad mentor promised to bring her back with enough time to spare to finish the filing
as they crossed the threshold to the outside world.
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